Sometimes, my heart and soul ache.

If you don't mind, follow this link, click play, then read. Thanks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dCjt-FqQYo

Now, I begin writing this with that beautiful ambient sound in my ears, the soft delayed guitar notes make their way in and I'm on the "shore" of Lake Owen in Cable Wisconsin. It's bitter cold, the minor bits of skin that are left unprotected begin to feel as if they are aflame. These things do not matter, because the lake is a white sheet of ice and snow, the stars are more visible here than in any other place I've ever been on this planet. I'm more than content, sure I'm happy, but even these words don't explain it. you have to be there, feel the cold, hear nothing but this song in your ears, stand by the lake that (as mush as any inanimate object can be) is a very dear friend, and know, for sure, for the first time, and the millionth time, that you're part of something bigger than yourself. You have to have felt this to be able to begin to describe it in words, and here, having felt this, I still can't describe it. However, I have to mention it, because sometimes my heart and soul ache. They ache to stand by that lake, to feel that thin bittersweet air, and listen to this song in the context in which it has been most powerful. Many songs take me to this place, I travel back in time, just over 1,200 miles, different songs remind of different seasons I spent there, different things I was dealing with, and different experiences with the natural world, with friends, and with God. It just so happens that in an attempt to drift to sleep in the best way I know how, listening to this band that so changed the way i felt and looked at things throughout my time in Wisconsin. Unfortunately, on this occasion, the song didn't help me sleep. It caused pain. Not the sort of pain that is physical, nor the type that might make you cry, rather this pain is more of the longing type. The feeling that I'm detached from something that I certainly wish I was not detached from. So I'm here in my bed talking about this pain, the ache and longing to be where I was many times before, to feel that feeling that I can't describe, in that place I love so much. And, I suppose the reason I'm telling you this is to just get it off my chest, to make it hurt a little less, because right now I want Wisconsin, in the truest form that I know it in. But, I can't have that so I think the least I can do is vent a little, and share a little. I hope you don't mind, and I hope that you really took my advice and played the song, and I hope that you felt even a small fraction of what I was trying to explain. Most of all I hope that this doesn't seem like me whining, or just trying in some clever way to make you listen to one of my favorite bands ever that I don't think I will ever stop listening to. To be honest I just needed to do this, so the best way to try and be back in Wisconsin, by Lake Owen, is to share them with you, and hope that you feel something. I feel as though I could begin an in depth back story about Wisconsin, because there is so much to say. But for now I will not, maybe in the future so that this rant might make more sense. But for now I should attempt sleeping again, for my sake, and the sake of my 7am co-workers. Thank you for reading and listening.

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